


All’s Fair

by Magicath_420



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Prank War, There is no “war” war, sixth year, the power of friendship (TM), the world outside of Hogwarts doesn’t exist
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-01-16 02:32:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18512092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magicath_420/pseuds/Magicath_420
Summary: Tales from the sixth annual Great Gryffindor Prank War, during which everyone learns a few things about friendship and loyalty and all that other mushy crap.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Everyone’s platonic in this one. If you’re reading and you’re like, “It totally sounds like everyone’s gay for Sirius”, that’s just cause I’m gay for Sirius and it bleeds through in my writing. Comment if you like it! 
> 
> Hi James. Hi Jordan. Don’t judge me. 🖕🏿

There was sweat on Sirius’s brow as he watched the second hand tick slowly towards 12. He flexed the fingers holding his wand. He narrowed his eyes. Five seconds. Four... three... two...  

Someone coughed in the common room downstairs. Sirius jumped, breaking concentration for a fraction of a second. In that time, James threw covers off of himself and shouted, “Expelliarmus!”

Sirius’s wand flew out of his hand and into James’s, who tossed it backwards over his shoulder to Remus, who threw it towards Peter, who jumped out of bed just in time to snatch it out of the air and half-sprint, half-fall down the stairs to the common room below. 

“Aw, man.” Sirius sighed. “Now I have to talk to Peter. Fuck you, Potter.”

James smirked and ran a hand through his hair. The 1976 Hogwarts Prank War had begun. 

*****

_Remus_

 

“Take a picture, Moony. It’ll last longer.”

Remus didn’t flinch. 

“You’re... _not_ plotting. Why aren’t you plotting? We pull off an obviously coordinated, 3-on-1 attack on you at _midnight_ and you’re just, letting it slide?” 

“Who says I’m not plotting?” Sirius asked casually, twirling his wand between his fingers like a drumstick. Remus looked over at Peter, who was murmuring to himself and checking his reflection in a spoon, trying to turn his hair back to its natural color, from the hot pink Sirius had charmed it immediately upon getting his wand back last night. 

He sighed. No help there.

He turned back to Sirius, who was making a show of serving himself eggs and pumpkin juice as if he hadn’t a care in the world. This wasn’t what Sirius was like when he was plotting. Plotting a prank usually consumed his attention and put him on alert, movements careful and deliberate, long hair pulled back from his face. This morning, Sirius’s hair fell into his eyes. He seemed relaxed. Careless. Ten thousand times more suspicious.

Remus had just taken a breath to speak again when he was cut off by an angry shout from across the Great Hall. 

“BLACK!” Screamed James.

 Sirius smirked. 

 “Gotta run.” He said, winking at Remus quickly and hurrying out of the Great Hall.

James stalked over to where Remus and Peter were sitting and sat down in the spot that Sirius had just vacated, eating his abandoned breakfast angrily. Remus didn’t have to ask what was making James so angry: it appeared that Sirius had stolen all of his school ties and replaced them with Slytherin ones.

 “Blimey, Prongs. Switching sides?”

 “Shut up.” James snapped. “Just- where did he even _get_ Slytherin ties?” 

“Yes, where oh where in the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black would he have found Slytherin paraphernalia?” Remus answered sarcastically. 

“He probably nicked one from Regulus.” Peter added, his hair now rapidly blinking all the colors of the rainbow. 

 James groaned. “This is so unfair. Stealing his wand wasn’t NEARLY this bad. I have to where this _all day_.”

 “Wonder what that would be like.” Peter muttered. James looked over at him and rolled his eyes. 

 “It’s a color charm, Wormtail. We learned them second year. How thick are you? 

“Second year was a long time ago!” Peter protested. 

“C’mon.” said Remus, interrupting them. “We’ll be late to Transfiguration.”

They left the Great Hall together and walked to McGonagall’s classroom. James grumbled about house loyalty and personal boundaries the whole time. Remus rolled his eyes. It was going to be a long war. 

 ****

When Remus got back to the common room after prefect duty with the Ravenclaws that night, Peter’s hair was back to normal and James was standing on the couch, trying to strangle Sirius with the Slytherin tie. Remus sat in the arm chair closest to the fire and watched as Sirius tried to throw James off of him. 

“If you kill me, you’ll have to be Wormtail’s partner in potions until we graduate!” Sirius cried.

“A SLYTHERIN, Sirius! I walked around all day dressed as a bloody _Slytherin_ !”  

“Did you do the Astronomy homework yet, Lily?” Remus asked over them casually.

Lily, standing on the other side of the common room, looked up and flipped her long, red hair out of her eyes. 

“No, not yet. I was waiting for- WOULD YOU TWO KNOCK IT OFF ALREADY- I was waiting for a clear night.” 

James instantly dropped Sirius, who fell- overdramatically- backwards over the top of the couch and onto Remus’s lap. He grinned up at him. Remus rolled his eyes and shoved Sirius off of him, causing him to fall to the floor, face down, with a thunk.

“You all suck.” he grumbled.

Remus got to his feet, ignoring Sirius.  

“Well, I was going to the Astronomy Tower now to do it, if you’d like to join me?” He asked.

“Sure.” Lily answered.

James ran a hand through his hair. “I haven’t started it yet either! I’ll join you guys!”

“Mate. You don’t take Astronomy anymore. Remember? You called it “useless hippy crap” and publicly counted down the days until you could drop it in sixth year.” Remus deadpanned.

James opened his mouth to respond but Lily cut him off pointedly.

“Goodnight, Potter.” 

She slung her bag over her shoulder and ducked out of the portrait hole. Remus followed. 

****

_Sirius_  

Sirius got up and walked over to stand next to James. 

“Did any of that strike you as odd, Prongs?”

“What, Evans? Nah. She’s just kidding. Deep down she really-“

 “No, not Lily. Merlin’s beard, mate. Focus. Remus left the common room- the designated safe zone- without his wand, to go to the highest, most isolated place in Hogwarts, with the person least amused by us and this War out of everyone we know, on the _first day_ of the War?

“Huh.” Said James. “That is kind of strange. You don’t think- you don’t think he’s _not playing_ , do you?”

Sirius gasped audibly.

“ _Prongs_.“ he said, horrified. “Don’t say such things.”

“You’re right. Maybe- maybe he’s planning something, and he wants to catch us off guard.”

“Or maybe,” Peter piped up from a chair near the fire, “he’s not taking the war seriously because you two only ever prank each other.”

James and Sirius stopped and looked at each other.

“What is _that_ supposed to mean?” James asked Peter.

Peter seemed to regret having spoken. “I mean, it’s great fun. Remus and I don’t really mind sitting on the sideline for most of the War. I actually prefer it. It’s splendid, cheering you on and being your lookouts and doing your homework and-“

“Hold on.” Sirius cut him off. “Since when do you do our homework?”

“Yeah.” said James. “Last time I checked, you couldn’t even do your own homework.”

“Remus did both of your Transfiguration essays last year.” Peter squeaked.

“Yeah, because he lost a _bet_. It’s not our fault he still supports the Chudley Cannons, we just capitalized on it!” Sirius answered, becoming indignant now.

“This is rubbish, Wormtail. We target you lot as often as we target each other.”

Peter looked like he wanted to disagree, but didn’t dare to. Sirius looked over at James. He looked slightly guilty. Crap.

Could it be true? Did he and James leave Peter and Remus out of the Prank War every year? Sirius wracked his brain, trying to remember the competition’s last few years. Now that he thought about it, he couldn’t think of any major schemes for whom James had not been his main target...

“Shove off.” James said to Peter. 

Peter looked almost relieved at the dismissal and scurried upstairs to the dormitories. James stood still for a minute, then made to follow him. 

“You’re not just going to bed?” asked Sirius. “We have to... I dunno... fix this, or something.” He didn’t have a solid plan, but he felt that, at the very least, they ought to head the Astronomy Tower immediately and make Remus wish he had never been born (like _real_ friends).

“No, I’m getting the cloak. We’re going to the Astronomy Tower immediately and we’re going to make Moony wish he’d never been born, like _real_ friends.”

Sirius grinned. He and James were always on the same page. 

When they reached the Astronomy Tower, James stopped on the landing and pulled two big, orange pieces of plastic out of his bag.

“These are called Super Soakers,” he explained, handing one to Sirius. It was surprisingly heavy. “Muggle children use them to shoot water at one another for sport. It’s great fun, a muggle boy in town showed me last summer. Now, I’ve filled these with Confusing Concoction. I was going to wait a little longer to use this, but, well, circumstances, ya know.” He trailed off, a little awkwardly. 

Sirius nodded. He was buzzing with the familiar adrenaline of lying in wait for something.

“Reckon we should wait for Evans to leave for the loo or something?” James asked, looking hesitant. 

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Not a chance, Prongs. She knows what time of the year it is. She ought to choose her company more wisely if she wants to stay out of this.”

James frowned. “I’m not sure that’s-“

Sirius held up a hand to cut him off. They could hear voices now, just on the other side of the barrier. They crept forward slowly and rounded the corner, guns up, triggers braced and ambushing... no one. The top of the tower was completely empty. James and Sirius looked at each other, momentary confusion slowly giving way to fear as they understood. It was a trap.

“RUN!” shouted James, but it was too late. As they turned back toward the stairway, they briefly glimpsed Remus, smirking mischievously, before they were hit with what must have been a thousand pigeons (yes- pigeons. Where the fuck did he get _pigeons?_ ).

“ARGH!” Sirius yelled.

“Are these PIGEONS???? WHERE THE FUCK DID HE GET _PIGEONS_??” James shouted back over the deafening sound of thousands of wings flapping furiously.

It was over as quickly as it began, and James and Sirius were left standing, frozen in shock, covered in feathers, staring as Remus emerged from the stairwell. They had rarely seen him so pleased with himself. 

“I cannot _believe_ that worked.” He gloated. “Do you two really think that Peter and I want to be pranked _more_?”

Sirius regained his composure first. “Ok. This- we’re- ok. I. Am. Shocked, Moony.”

James picked up where he left off. “Yeah, this is- this is the least Remusy prank in the history of the Great Gryffindor Prank War.”

“Where on Earth did you get all those _fucking pigeons?”_

“My uncle breeds them in York.” said Lily, appearing from the stairway behind Remus and looking equally smug.

Understanding- and outrage- dawned on James and Sirius simultaneously. 

“You CHEATED?” Sirius shouted incredulously.

“SHE helped you?” James yelled simultaneously.

“It wasn’t cheating!” Lily responded haughtily. “Remus told me the rules are that any of you four can have help as long as it’s from another Gyffindor.”

“Another Gryffindor _boy_.” Corrected James.

“Yeah, no girls allowed.” Added Sirius.

Lily rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I ignored that part because it’s sexist and exclusionary. And you wrote it when you were eleven.”

“We wrote all the rules when we were eleven!” answered James.

“And it’s not sexist!” added Sirius. “It’s cause girls are too smart, they have an unfair advantage.” 

“If you’re using it to exclude us, it’s still sexist.”

“It’s not sexist!” 

“It is.”

“It’s not!”

“Alright!”Remus cut in. “Lily’s right, mate. We wrote that rule when we were little, and it’s not fair. Prank War is a tradition. The girls should get to participate.”

Sirius still wanted to argue. He didn’t care if all the other girls played, but if they let Lily in, James would just focus on her the whole time. Everyone else would fade into background noise to him. And it wasn’t that Sirius was _jealous_ , cause that would be _stupid_ , but it was just, well, it was unfair to James, wasn’t it? It was like putting him on a leash. And Sirius needed James to be on his best, unrestricted game for practical, prank-related reasons. Purely practical. 

Sirius was about to protest further, but James spoke first.

“Fine, whatever. The girls can play, I guess I don’t care. But you and Peter aren’t upset that Sirius and I only prank each other every year, then? That was just to get us up here tonight?”

“Merlin, no, we’re not upset. You two may come up with all the ideas, but you couldn’t pull off half of them without our help. It’s never just ‘James vs Sirius’, it’s always, like, ‘Team James vs Team Sirius.” He explained. “And it’s much more fun to be auxiliary, anyway. We get to switch sides and sell secrets and fuck with the Slytherins and blame it all on you two.”

James smiled brilliantly. “You little shit.”

Remus shrugged, smiling as well. “Kinda thought you two would’ve picked up on the pattern by now.”

Sirius just shook his head and looked from Remus to James, concerns about the girls forgotten in light of this flat-out _challenge_ from their best friend. 

“Well,” he declared, languishing the drama of it all, “looks like we’ve got to make some adjustments to gameplay this year, Prongs.”

James looked back at Remus and Lily, the old troublemaking glint back in his eyes. “You know, Padfoot. I was just thinking that exact. same. thing.”


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when I was like, “this has a plot, I promise”? Well the plot is coming, I promise.

_ James _

The next day, Sirius woke James before dawn and dragged him downstairs to the common room. James didn’t have to ask why; he’d been planning on doing the same thing, Sirius had just beaten him to it.

“So.” said Sirius, as soon as they were far enough from the stairs to speak.

“Advantages?” James asked.

“Our team is 100% animagi. Theirs is only 50%.” Sirius responded.

“Right. We can use that. What else?”

“Well, Remus is a prefect...” Sirius continued, losing speed.

“So is Evans.” James said quickly. “We could win her over, get her to play for our side.”

Sirius scoffed.

“What?”

“It’s just that winning Evans over isn’t exactly one of your strong suits. Historically.”

“This is different. This is tactical. We’re going to win this war, and she knows it.”

Sirius took a deep breath.

“Prongs, mate, this is a dead end. I know you think it might work, but it really, really, really won’t. She likes Remus and Peter better than us; they’re quieter. And so far we’ve only come up with one tactical advantage we have over them, and we can’t exactly advertise it.”

Sirius had a point, but James wasn’t listening. He’d been fully committed to this plan the second he said it out loud. I f he won the war for her, she would see that they belonged together. He could see it now: this was his shot. His ultimate chance to get Lily to go out with him. 

“Alright, what about originality?” Sirius said, bringing James back to the task at hand. “Remus told us himself that he and Peter never come up with their own ideas. We can definitely use that.”

“Yeah. And let’s hit them early, before they have a chance to organize their defenses. Do you have anything ready to go?”

“I have a bunch of expired spell check quills I was going to sneak into all of your bags today.”

“Brilliant!” said James. “Remus is going to be pissed. You know how seriously he takes homework and all that crap.”

“Remember that time he made us stay in and write his potion’s essay instead of going to the Shack with him on the full moon?”

“Yeah, the bloke’s nuts.”

“Who’s nuts?” asked Remus sleepily, appearing suddenly on the stairs behind them.

”You are.” answered Sirius.

Remus gave him the finger and walked past them to go to breakfast. James grinned at Sirius behind his back and followed.

 

****

James spent the day plotting a way to get Evans on their side. He waited outside the dungeons after Potions, hoping to catch her by herself, but she walked right by him with her head bent over Remus’s quill, trying to help him fix it. Sirius saw and ran over, snickering, but James just frowned.

At dinner, he was foiled again. News of the rule change had spread quickly, and apparently it had galvanized the sixth years. Even the boys were more excited than usual. All along the Gyriffindor table, kids were huddled in groups of three or four, conspiring in whispers. James sat down with Sirius and tried to catch Lily’s eye, but his efforts were fruitless, since her attention was consumed by something Frank Longbottom was saying to her and Alice in a low, excited voice.

“Merlin, this is getting out of hand.” Remus said, sitting down next to James and Sirius.

“I know.” Sirius answered with a manic glint in his eye and an exhilarated hum underneath his voice. “Just imagine the chaos it’s going to bring.”

James was still watching Lily talk to Frank. It made him irrationally angry. Like  _he_   was her key to winning this thing. Yeah right.

“Oi, Prongs.” Sirius said. “What do you say?”

“Huh?”

“You weren’t listening, were you?”

“What do I say to what?” 

“Remus suggested a truce among the four of us this weekend, so we can hit the Slytherins.”

“Oh yeah, definitely. What’d you have in mind?”

“Nothing yet.” answered Remus.

“But it’s gotta be big.” added Peter.

“Yeah.” agreed James, his attention quickly drifting back to Lily. “Real big.”

 

***

_Sirius_

 

The next three days were, as Sirius had predicted, chaotic. With more people playing than ever before, and half of those people having access to a whole separate dormitory and set of bathrooms, the competition heated up quickly. Food was charmed to look like other foods, causing Marlene McKinnon to splutter and cough when she took a large swing of vinegar at breakfast, thinking it was pumpkin juice. Fully completed essays were stolen the night before they were due and somehow pasted onto the enchanted ceiling ofthe Great Hall. The prefects found so much contraband that Filch’s office overflowed and the teachers had to start storing some of it in their classrooms. Never had a History of Magic class been more riveting; Professor Bins failed to notice the enchanted chalk (confiscated from a fourth year) describing the viciously dramatic love triangle unfolding between her Slytherin cousin, a gay Hufflepuff, and Moaning Myrtle, in graphic detail on the board behind him. 

People had taken to wearing at least two full layers of clothing at all times, lest their outer layer be hit with a well-aimed vanishing spell in the corridors. Even Peeves was in on the fun, although he seemed almost lazy with his idea of “pranks” and was simply dumping buckets of ice water on people at random. Sirius, James, Peter, and Remus were so busy playing defense that they barely had time to pull off anything of their own; apparently, as founders (and long-time gatekeepers) of The Great Gryffindor Prank War, they were most players’ main target.

When the weekend rolled around, the four of them were finally able to sneak away to plot. It was a welcome relief from constant vigilance, and they all felt a little lighter just sitting together, confidently out of harms way, hiding out in the Owlery. They eventually decided to repurpose Lily and Remus’s pigeon idea against the Slytherins, but with nifflers instead of birds, and the Slytherin common room instead of the Astronomy Tower. 

Hagrid had set up a whole pen full of nifflers in his backyard the week before (apparently they were the bowtruckles’ natural predators, and were being deployed in groups to the Forbidden Forest as population control). The plan was thus: Sirius would sneak down to Hagrid’s hut as a dog, slip a sleeping potion into the nifflers’ water trough, and smuggle a couple back to the dormitory once they were unconscious. James would take them and, wearing his invisibility cloak, wait outside the entrance to the Slytherin common room until someone opened it, then throw the nifflers in and run. Peter, in his animagus form, would scurry in after them, wake them up, and report back to the other boys on the chaos that ensued. Remus would be watching the map and patrolling as a prefect, keeping their paths clear of teachers and other unwelcome attention.

The nifflers would go absolutely batshit in the Slytherin common room, with all the diamond jewelry and watches and who knows what else those pretentious bastards carried around with them. And on top of that, this was one of the best plans the boys had ever come up with. It was strong, straightforward, and airtight. What could possibly go wrong?


	3. Chapter Three

_James_

They put the plan into motion on Sunday night; it was the quietest night of the week, and the teachers would have their guards down just enough to take mild suggestions from a prefect, should the need arise.

The sun set at 8pm. Remus left for his patrol at 8:30. He gave Sirius the all-clear with James’s enchanted mirror at 8:38. Sirius returned to the common room with three sleeping nifflers at 8:57. James and Peter left for the Slytherin common room at exactly 9pm. With each completed step, all four of them breathed a little easier, even as their hearts beat faster and faster. James could feel fear giving way to excitement in his stomach like a frozen waterfall thawing in the spring; this was what he lived for. He thought of Lily, and how it would feel to have her as his partner in crime instead of his friends. He wishes desperately to find out.

James stood outside the entrance to the Slytherin common room, hidden beneath the cloak, bouncing on the balls of his feet in anticipation. Peter, transformed, was at his feet in his unzipped knapsack, next to the three sleeping nifflers. He seemed anxious as well, although James knew from years of pulling pranks with Peter that it could be hard to tell when a rat was restless and when it was just being a rat. 

Finally, James heard voices approaching from behind him. Two very distinct voices, in fact, that when combined in conversation like this, made him see red. He whipped around, still concealed under the cloak, and watched unseen as Lily walked towards him, followed closely by Severus Snape. 

“-very nice, Sev, but I don’t want it.” She was saying. 

“Please, I- I just- what do I have to do?”

“I don’t want you to _do_ anything! I want you to listen to me when I ask you to _leave me alone_. I’m not interested in your apologies. Or your excuses. And certainly not in this ‘gift’.”

Lily held up a small glass vial of something shimmery. 

“But you’re always saying that you want to try making more experimental potions! That’s powdered unicorn horn! Don’t you-“

“I know _exactly_ what it is, thank you very much. Did _you_ know that this is banned at Hogwarts? Do you have any idea what will happen to me if I’m caught with it?”

They were standing directly in front of the common room (and James) now. Lily turned on her heel and went to walk away, but Snape grabbed her arm and spun her back around to face him, forcefully.

“Just wait-“

“STUPEFY!” James roared, throwing off the cloak. “Don’t touch her!”

Snaps flew back several feet and hit the ground hard. Lily jumped back, startled.

“Potter?” She seemed to be at a loss for words. “What- where- what the _fuck_ are you doing here?”

James, red with anger, but starting to think that he may have just made a mistake, didn’t get a chance to answer her. At that moment, awoken by James’ shout, the mufflers scurried out of his backpack and, spotting the glittery vial that Lily was holding, _attacked_. She shrieked in surprise and dropped the vial as two of the animals started crawling up her legs and the third leapt straight at her outstretched hand. The vial shattered when it hit the ground. For a moment, James, Lily, and Snape all froze, processing. 

“Shit.” said James, mostly to himself.

Then all hell broke loose. The nifflers began attacking each other over the glittery powder on the floor. Snape raised his wand at James and muttered something under his breath. A huge gash seared across James’s face, and he stumbled back, tripping over his backpack and accidentally stepping on Peter, who transformed back into himself and howled, clutching his right arm. Snape stared at him, open-mouthed. 

“You’re- that was- you were just- holy _shit_.” he stuttered.

James and Peter looked at each other, pure panic spreading in each of their eyes. James searches desperately for any excuse that would explain Peter being able to turn into a rat without incriminating them. He had nothing. They were doomed. Unless-

James saw the idea come to Peter at the same time it came to him. No, they couldn’t. It was too dangerous, it was going too far, it was- Peter raised his wand.

“No!” shouted James at the same second that Peter yelled “Obliviate!”

Lily screamed. Snape swayed on his feet, eyes oddly blank. He blinked. Then he seemed to register the chaos surrounding him, and took a step back in confusion.

“Why would you _do_ that?” Lily shrieked, nearly hysterical. “Is this your idea of a _prank_? Wait outside his common room and ambush him as he walks in? That’s not a joke, Potter, that’s _assault_. And you!”

She rounded on Peter. 

“What the hell were you _thinking_? You could have caused real, permanent damage with that spell. And just because he saw you two come out from under that cloak? Everyone knows about that cloak! You didn’t have to _do_ that!”

Some part of James’ mind registered that Lily hadn’t put two and two together about Peter’s transformation. Another part saw Snape struggling to regain his bearings. He seemed confused, but not confused enough to be permanently altered. Knowing Peter’s capacity for spellwork, he’d probably only lost a few minutes of memory (although, in his defense, it had been an eventful few minutes). The rest of James’s brain was blank with panic and a fast-growing sense of dread. He’d just ruined _everything_.

Then, as if James has been stupid enough to think this couldn’t get any worse, Filch rounded the corner at a run, dragging Remus by the ear.

****

In the end, all five of them were given detention. McGonagall took one look at Remus, James, and Peter, and sent Filch to get Sirius out of bed. After ten unsuccessful minutes of the boys floundering for an innocent explanation that made sense, Peter cracked and confessed every detail of the plan that wasn’t illegal. They were given three weeks of scraping gum off the bottom of desks on four separate floors of the castle. Lily was given the same punishment, but for possession of the powdered unicorn horn; the Gryffindor refused to give Snape up.

James and Lily ended up on the first floor, serving their detentions together. The next few days passed in a haze of failure that James could feel in his bones. His friends had counted on him, and he blew the whole plan on a knight-in-shitty-armor moment for a girl who didn’t need his help and certainly didn’t want it. And now they were both missing the rest of the war, stuck on their hands and knees every night while everyone they knew ran by the classroom doors, cheeks flushed with the thrill of the chase and laughing with the unbridled joy of _his_ war. 

Lily wouldn’t even talk to him at first. She wouldn’t even make _eye contact_ with him. She’d never be persuaded by a light-hearted offer of glory now, James thought gloomily. She’d never join their side and her hand would never brush his under the invisibility cloak and they would never collapse into each other in smothered giggles and they would never end up together and the thought was enough to break him.

He had nothing left. He’d never seen Sirius so angry at him. Hell, he didn’t think he’d ever seen Sirius angry at him _period_. Which would make sense, because James had never _failed_ him before. He’d never failed all of them, thrown them to the wolves for a girl who wasn’t even _his_ to be stupid about, and probably never would be. James was supposed to be the boys’ point man, their fearless- well, not _leader_ \- but the first man in the fire. James was supposed to pull them headfirst into adventure, laughing; instead he’d pushed them off a cliff without a parachute, doe-eyed and selfish.

But he had a way back. In a few days, Lily started to warm back up to him (probably out of sheer boredom and proximity, but hey, he’d take what he could get). And a few days after that, he told a joke about the callouses they were both developing from the scrapers, and she’d laughed. They actually ended up becoming pretty good friends over the time they spent in detention. It struck James how gaping and dramatic they had always viewed the rift between them as, and how it was bridged so quickly by the simply human tendency towards laughter and bright sides.

On their last day of detention, Lily told James about the prank she had been planning with Frank and Alice. It was a big one: they were going to use it to win the War. 

“So.” she said, once she’d finished describing it, “Are you in?”

“What?” James asked.

“Do you want in? We could really use your help. I don’t know if we could even pull it off without that enchanted map you guys have.”

“You know about the map?”

“Yeah, Remus uses it to sneak into the kitchens while we’re on perfect duty. I was going to ask him if I could use it, but I think it’d be even better if you just came with us.”

“Sure.” said James, heart beginning to beat faster. 

_This is it_. He thought, before he even gave himself permission. _This is it thisisitthisisit._

“Sirius banned me from our own team, which is _bullshit_ , cause this whole war was originally my idea anyway back in First Year, but yeah, I’d love to help. One condition though.”

“What?”

James thought about that night, three weeks ago, when the boys had finally dragged themselves back up to their common room. He thought about the look on Sirius’s face as he’d yelled at James for betraying them all for her, for a pointless, dead-end crush he’d had since he was 12. He thought about how Remus had just shaken his head, and how Peter wouldn’t meet his eye. He felt a pang of guilt, and a nag in his stomach that they may have been in the right; but mostly, he felt angry.

“We hit Sirius, Remus, and Peter first. Take them out of the game in front of the whole school. Steal the crown right off their heads.”

Lily smirked. “Deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know why I’m writing this note when this fic has 13 hits lmao. Whatever. I like it. I have something to say and I want to use these boys that I love to say it. If you like it too, let me know. Hi James ✌️.


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